Procreating- part two

May 30, 2006 at 12:38 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

   Alrighty, so I decided to go and UNLOAD all my issues on having more ‘lil ones.  Now I want to continue the theme of talking about me, myself, and I- because, well who doesn’t want to talk about ME?!  Oh, what- what’s that you say? Stop it, the only reason that the few of us read this is to hear about Hali something funny because it sucks for you?  Oh, ya, well Hali’s been pretty good lately.  If you I behave and can manage to shut up about boring, useless to explain things, maybe I will suddenly remember something…

  Once you start getting more regular sleep, it becomes easier to forget about that odd trance-like state that you are in for the first few months.  The whole never getting more than 2 hours of sleep at a time really messes with you.  You just don’t feel right.  I’m not talking about your body, either- not that the weird bloated sagging thing where your stomach used to be isn’t right.  Or the huge leaking boobs, or the poor, poor girly bits (or huge scar with staples in it, in cases of c-sections) that just are NOT RIGHT.  No I mean that weird mental state that you are in after having a baby.  Hard to describe, maybe because its hard to remember exactly.

   Once you find yourelf forgetting how tough (but great) those first few months are, other things start creeping in.  NEWBORN BABY= SINGLE CHILD PARENT’S UNDOING.  It is scientifically proven that the “baby smell” is in fact a chemical that is used on all babies by the hospitals/nurses/midwives as ordered by the Catholics and Mormons to promote parents to have more children.  These churches have infiltrated all hospitals and birthing centers.  They are even doulas and midwives.  It’s a conspiracy, you see.  So when you see a newborn and have the urge to snatch it from it’s mother’s arms and inhale so deeply it takes you a minute to regain normal breathing patterns- remember that.  Why must we do that?  Why must we feel the undeniable urge to put one of their tiny body parts in our mouths?!  YUM!  I love my wonderful two year old daughter, she is still part baby- not completely a little girl yet; We still call her little toes pigs, but they are not.  They are sweaty and sometimes stinky and more often than not dirty.  It’s not the same.  But I am still willing to make due.

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