I feel OLD

June 16, 2006 at 4:06 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments


   Last week, I ran into an old friend from high school.  Being the anti-social person that I am, I basically haven’t seen anyone I graduated with since, well, we graduated.  Sure I ran into a few months later at SHSU, but I only was there for one semester, and it was generally just a breezy minute long conversation.  This friend told me to log on to myspace.com, and I would find quite a few old friends.  So a couple of days ago I did just that- thus the title for this entry.  Only a few have actually graduated from college yet.  Many are still working on it.  Mind you, I hear that it now takes 5 years to complete a college degree verses what we used to think only took 4 years.  So I guess they’re not doing all that bad- heck I just finally decided what I wanted to do when I grew up!  My mom tells me she still doesn’t know what she wants to be. I just want to be clear here, I am not criticizing- so unlike me I know I mean I never criticize, nope, not me…

   But looking at what they have put for their profiles and the pictures that they have placed on them, well, made me feel old.  There were countless pictures of them drunk at a bar, drunk at a club, drunk at a party, drunk at someone’s place…you get the picture.  There were little messages and comments about the “great party” and “awesome weekend”.  One old friend even actually had the words “bong beer” on her profile.  She was the head cheerleader in high school.  Reading these and seeing these drunken “fun” pictures, I thought “what? I mean….aren’t they a little past that at our age?”.  Then it hit me- I am 23.  So are they.  At this age, that is what a lot of people are doing.  It’s me that is different.  

   All my friends for the past two and a half years or so are moms.  I am a mom.  That is a very big part of me- who I am.  I find myself hardly identifying with my old high school buddies, because drinking, partying, smoking, and making out with strangers is not who I am.  It never was.  No one talked to me about the wild party last weekend when we were in high school, because I wasn’t there.  I never was.  I knew better.  Sure that’s fun in its own way I’m sure, but so was going to the movies or hanging out at my house and playing board games.  Those also have the added benefit of not getting you arrested for underage drinking or suffering the wrath of your parents and grounding thereof.  I have always taken myself a little to seriously.

   So now, here I sit.  An old lady at 23.  I will be celebrating my 5th anniversary with my wonderful husband this winter.  My daughter will be 3 this winter.  My husband will be 27 this fall.  I have all these wonderful things- not worldly goods, but things that I will take with me.  I have been through all these things.  I feel like I have lived so much in my short 23 years, especially after seeing where some of the “old crew” is now.  I feel like maybe in a few years, when they are ready to settle down, they will see.  It is an odd feeling to see these people and where they are at in life in comparison to where I am at in life.  I have never liked to waste time, I mean come on- it’s obvious.  Married at not quite 19, mom at not quite 21?  Hello!  If you know what you want, go for it!  Some may say, oh, I wish I had waited.  Ever notice how you don’t hear that out of any elderly people’s mouths?  Or ‘I wish I had gotten really wasted a few more times’.  I have a lot I want to do in the next 60-70 years, you know?  I want to be proud of what I have done.  I want to be proud of my choices when I am old.  I’ll forget what I did last night then- when alhiemers and senility kicks in.  Why don’t other 23 year olds think this?  Am I really that different?  I guess I am.  Good for me.

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2 Comments »

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  1. Good for you girl! You can not regret your daughter. Take no notice of other people’s choices – no-one ever said “I wish I’d had more hang-overs!”

  2. Sounds like they never got past high school graduation. Be proud of what you have accomplished, it’s far more than some will ever be able to. I love the song “Something to be Proud Of” by Montgomery Gentry….here’s the chorus:That’s something to be proud of; That’s a life you can hang your hat on; That’s a chin held high as the tears fall down; A gut sucked in, a chest stuck out; Like a small town flag a-flyin’; Or a newborn baby cryin’; In the arms of the woman that you love; That’s something to be proud of;


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