Why I am the epitamy of style, class and sophistication

June 20, 2006 at 2:40 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

   A few things that prove my point:

<IMG style=”WIDTH: 157px; HEIGHT: 134px” height=1809 src=”/images/21876-20889/HPIM0420.JPG” width=2410>   These are a must have for this seasons hottest fashions.  No, they aren’t pretty (you shoulda seen the really fuzzy ones that I wore before these until they literally fell apart).  Notice the sleek, slim lines.  Observe the slimming effect on my kankles.  Now if I was really classy, I would show you the appropriate sleepwear that goes with these lovely feminine delights:

<IMG style=”WIDTH: 188px; HEIGHT: 104px” height=1704 src=”/images/21876-20889/HPIM0417.JPG” width=2249>   No, your eyes are not deceiving you, this is THE sexiest thing out there in sleepwear fashion. Now if you turn your head just so (I am too lazy to turn the picture for you) you can fully appreciate the details that include buttons (for whippin’ the girls out for those late night feedings) and the lovely flowery embroidery- you know, to class it up, make it more appealing because what woman is not instantly drawn to embroidered flowers?!  For surely these flowers will make your husband want to jump you once he lays eyes on this get up.  Might I add the moo moo flowing and flattering cut cover a multitude of sins.  The material is also wonderfully stain resistant for those times when you and the hubs may have gotten a little carried away with the whipped cream, chocolate syrup, and honey a little breast milk may have leaked.  Trust me ladies, no man can resist this sexy item.  Fifteen percent of the time, it works every time.

<IMG style=”WIDTH: 187px; HEIGHT: 113px” height=1834 src=”/images/21876-20889/HPIM0419.JPG” width=2422>   I am particularly thrilled with this item of furniture.  This, is a futon.  You know- the kind you see in a bachelor pad or a college dorm?  Except its here.  In my home.  It really adds that layer of sophistication.  Like I had a designer come in our something- you know?  Unfortunately, there is fairly decent excuse why I have this.  

   While we were in Idaho, we were in a home that had a basement- most do up there.  In fact some homes, called basement houses, are just that- homes that are basements only.  Now THAT is classy!  Shortly after moving there, I had my eye on a couch that I actually really liked and would not have been able to really make fun of here.  With the help of my brother, they picked it up from the store, brought it home, and unloaded it off the trailer.  Which is where it went back to five minutes later.  For reasons unbeknown to us, the person who finished the basement failed to take into account that a person may want to put a couch down there.  It wouldn’t fit in any of the doors, let alone down the narrow flight of stairs. This was an older home.  What did the previous owners or renters sit on down there? Their thumbs? So we got a futon.

<IMG style=”WIDTH: 145px; HEIGHT: 134px” height=1544 src=”/images/21876-20889/HPIM0462.JPG” width=2027>   Last but not least.  THIS IS the creme de la creme.  One look at this and you will be wowed by my decorating genius.  Uh, hello…it’s a box (you may be thinking). No, no, no, no ladies!  It is sooooo much more!  You see, it is also a very functional, very sturdy, very fancy printer stand.  When its not buckling under the weight of the printer, that is.  Our last house had a little office off the family room with built in desk and drawers and cabinets.  This one does not.  

   As you can see, I am one classy lady. I sit with my legs spread out to try and cool off while gulping my iced green tea I cross my legs and sip my tea with my pinkie up.  I have never owned a leopard print thong worn anything risqué under my clothes- just white cotton underwear. And I fart little pink hearts.

*I apologize if these pictures do not all come through- I have been having a problem with that. The first is of my furry pink slippers, the second of my matronly pink night gown, the third of a black futon, and the forth of a box that is currently being used as a printer stand.


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