Not So Desperate Housewife

June 26, 2006 at 6:40 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

   Every day I find myself in the constant internal struggle.  Yes, I want to be THAT wife and THAT mother.  But, darn it, I want to be ME!  I want ME to be GREAT!  I want me to be this amazing combination of loving, ever so patient and understanding wife and mother, domestic goddess extraordinare, sex kitten, health and fitness guru, rhodes scholar, stand up comedian, spiritually beautiful, and just a fun person to be around in general.  Roll that all up in a fabulous body, sprinkle generously with cash- and WHAM you’ve almost got it.  Then I finally drag myself outta bed and think- ah, forget it.  I’ll work on that next week…

   As I mentioned before, upon taking one of those little quizzes, I found myself to be Susan of Desperate Housewives.  I have thought it through, and yes, I am most like her.  I definitely have my insecurities.  I am not quiet about them.  I delude myself that if I warn people about me, they will like me better when they find that I am not all that bad. I could be considered also a little old fashioned in that I have a Dependency on my Husband.  I am a stay at home mom.  Actually, I believe this to be the reverse.  I believe the SAHM to be the new “in” thing to be.  Look at the blogosphere- it is CRAWLING with mommy bloggers, many of them are SAHMs.  I have begun to come out of my shell and decide what I want to be when I grow up, but I will always be a SAHM.  For as long as I can remember, I knew I wanted to be there all the time.  The thought of leaving my Hali with someone else while I go to work actually makes me a little sick to my stomach.  I love being a mom, and consider it THE most important job on this earth.  What’s important is that I try my hardest.  It’s a shame that wears a person out like it does, though…

   There are some (okay, a lot of) perfectionist qualities about me.  I prefer to do it myself, instead of leaving it to the hubs to screw up.  Not that I do it all myself- after dinner (when DH is actually home) it is his choice: clean up after dinner or bathe the Hali. Being the perfectionist that I am, I always have to go back in and clean up which ever one he chose.  I have to put up the bath toys in their basket or I have to put the last of the things in the pantry that DH just didn’t seem to notice.  I HATE HATE HATE going to bed and/or waking up to a messy house.  I cannot relax until it is reasonably picked up.  I like to make straight lines and rows when I vacuum.  I like the pillows and cushions just so.  The “casual throw” is not so casually thrown- I have to place it just so that it looks perfectly casually thrown (which really means there should be no casual there, right?!).  My pantry shelves must have all like contents grouped together.  I hang shirts/tops/blouses in a rainbow.  Starting with white, then red, orange, and so on to end in brown and black.  I could go on, but I am boring you.

   The old me was a bit more of a man eater.  I made my daddy proud by the way I could be rude to the boys when they dared call me.  Sure, I joked and flirted a little, maybe even strung them along a little.  But I was just practicing for The Big Time.  I probably could have, I dunno, say had a date to my senior prom if I hadn’t been so aloof (that and if I had been willing to put out, which I wasn’t).  As a teenager, half of my boyfriends were not really all that handsome.  Being a tall, thin, pretty, curvaceous blond, I probably coulda had some hotties.  Instead, I preferred the men boys who would work for it.  I needed to be treated as if I was the most wonderful thing that ever happened to them.  I shoulda stuck with that plan and married one of those types.  Kicking myself now…

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  1. Just love the photo of the mag – woops! Sounds like you got yourself a husband like mine… I have often thought of starting a ‘husband school’which should be compulsory for all men before they get married!

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