This Week’s Collection of Love Letters

June 29, 2006 at 8:53 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

   My dear husband is back at a place of employment where he uses a computer and the internet occasionally.  He has taken time out of his busy day to write me these lovely, heart felt, special e-mails.  I must explain before hand a few things.  He recently bought the second season of “The Chappelle Show” on dvd, and is addicted.  He quotes it everywhere: at work, at home, on the phone, at the mall, and even in e-mails apparently. Second, he is unhappy with me on the account that when he asked me to set up an Ebay account for him, I chose to make his id jdawg699.  Yes, it is a cruel joke, and one that I enjoy a lot just a little bit every once in a while. It is a constant source of embarrassment for him.  I guess you should do your own homework, huh?!

   So here are my love letters from this week, word for word, and yes, there are expletives- the only time you will really find them here, so don’t let it scare you.

Love Letter #1

Subject: “oh my ga! is this chicken or fish?”

Message Body: ” that stupid hooker. it was a funny show though. we laughed at it. anyway, just back at the office finally in some ac. see you later  CHARLI MURPHY!           DARKNESS EVERYBODY DARKNESS!             your pretty much the total opposite though.   LIGHTNESS EVERYBODY  LIGHTNESS HAS ENTERED THE ROOM!           HA”

*If you didn’t figure it out, he is talking of a certain blond singer/actress/reality star 
  and is also quoting his new favorite “The Chappelle Show”
  I happen to be blond, green eyed, pale skinned, and just light in general- he is not…


Love Letter #2

Subject: “look its you again! holy shit!”

Message Body: “hey there, just cleaning the office , the guys are working a little late trying to get stuff finished for friday. see you in a little while love  jdawg”

*Just previous to this I had commented on how it was weird to recieve e-mail from me to me, because he just logs into yahoo as me and sends these e-mails to me

Love Letter #3

Subject: “hey there sexy”

Message Body: “i have been trying to call but the line is busy. just making sure hali had not knocked the phone over or something. love you,    nookums”

*constant source of frustration for him- I frequently turn the ringer off on accident or Hali has taken the phone off the hook

Love Letter #4

Subject: “you smell funny

Message Body: “gee you sure smell a lot like flowers……….i lub you,  lub thats right.  its better than love…..its LUB!!!   (similar to lube which is also good when used properly)”

*Lube… I mean really, what more CAN I say…

Please, do not let yourselves become maniacly jealous of me.  I know you are probably wishing you had such a man- even as you are reading this.  If you just comment below, leaving your name, number, and recent full body photo of yourself, he has assured me he will get to you as soon as possible.


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