Reasons Why I Am Gross

November 8, 2006 at 9:40 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

WARNING: The following is VERY VERY GROSS!  If you feel nauseating in anyway by the ideas of sweat, pimples, poo, or earwax, please discontinue reading now.  Still there? Goody.

I am SUPER sweaty.  I mean badly soak through your shirt sweaty.  I constantly have that lovely sweat ring on the armpits of my shirts.  I have tried several kinds of deodorants and antiperspirants to no avail.  I think there may be a new product out I haven’t tried yet, and I probably will buck up and try it soon.  I’m not holding my breath, though.  I heard that if you get laser surgery on your underarms- as in for hair removal, that you also don’t sweat there anymore either.  That would be great, so when I become a wealthy woman of leisure, I will let you know how it went.  That still leaves under my girls… but I think if they weren’t so GIGANTUS that wouldn’t be such a problem- it wasn’t’ a big deal until I reached the double cup size.    

I have an odd fascination with pimples.  Like a moth to flame, I MUST pop them.  I can’t seem to help it.  Squeezing a pimple is oddly satisfying in a very gross, disturbing way.  The bigger, the better.  

I am addicted to q-tips.  I loooove cleaning my ears out with them after showering.  My husband insists that it is packing my ear wax down and that I will have to have it sucked out one day.  Aside from the high cost of this, as I am sure it would be costly, I am also oddly and grotesquely fascinated by that.  Is it this thin suction hose that gets it all out? Do they put some kind of liquid or chemical of any kind in first?  But this doesn’t seem to stop him either.  I just like getting all the water and wax out after a shower.  We refer to cleaning your ears out as ear sex, because, well, I think some things are self explanatory…

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2 Comments »

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  1. Hi there! I linked here from your comment over at kerflop..I think! Any way, I LURVE cleaning out my ears!!! I agree with the whole “ear sex” thing!!! Also, a comment for your previous post about the homeless guy…I my po, I don’t think it matters if that was the guys first visit, or his 100th!! The church is called to care for these types of people, not usher them out the door because they make the “church people” uncomfortable!! When you truly have the love and compassion of Jesus in your heart, you have love and compassion for EVERYONE…no matter how many times they have asked for a handout, food or shelter. Just like Jesus. Also, if this church is getting “regular” homeless people, they should look into starting some kind of a program to actually help these people and get them back on their feet. This kind of incidence happening is exactly why people who are not christians, have a soured opinion of them.Have a great day!!


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