I Have Found IT

January 23, 2007 at 1:14 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

I have found THE swimsuit! I only wish I could try it one first! I found it online, at retrodress.com and it is so cute! Not to mention sexy in a very 1950’s kind of way. I have been wanting a “retro” suit for a few years- ever since this post-baby bulge came along and refused to leave. 

I think this swimsuit will adequately cover my fat rolls and secure the girls at the same time.  Seeing as a capri-length suit is impractical here in Texas, I have no choice but to offend onlooker’s senses by my plentiful fat, cellulite, stretch marks, and loose stomach skin.

At least I have the good taste to cover it up- they should NOT make bikini’s in my size- PERIOD!  No good can come of a woman of my size showing her stomach. Or upper thighs.  But this doesn’t mean we have to resort to the dreaded “Grandma” suit, either! I believe I have found the perfect solution in this swimsuit.

Other than the whole not being able to try it on a head of time problem, it is more than I generally pay for a bathing suit.  Not that it is outrageous- it is $65.00, plus shipping and all that.  Not bad.  And I only get myself a new suit every other year, so that makes it a little better, right?

I’m sure you are thinking (as you sit there freezing your butt off) that it’s a little early for bathing suit shopping.  Nope. Not in Texas, anyways.  If you add in the couple of weeks I will need to decide for sure, and convince Jeremy that I would be a Sexy Goddess in said suit, plus shipping time, and it will be spring break and the beginning of warm weather.  By the end of April, the pools here will be pleasantly cool in comparison to the down right hot temperatures we reach by then. 

If you browse through the other suits, I am drawn to the polka-dot ones, but I like the brown best- I don’t want to draw any attention to myself in a bathing suit. Plus the brown has those little folds of fabric that can hide sooo much!

And, yes, you have actually just read an entire entry about a swim suit.  How boring, I know, but it really is the little things that get me excited…. well, in most cases…

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  1. Do you know how long it has been since I have purchased a new swimsuit??? About 8 years. I don’t swim. That could be a reason.Oh, and I have the worst butt on the planet, grody legs and thick ankles. That could be another.


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