The Best Of Mom and Me 2007

December 29, 2007 at 4:54 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Inspired by Loralee, (except I changed it a little) here are my favorite quotes from each month of 2007:

January-  I had never heard the term cunnilingus until a few weeks ago. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am familiar with what it means, I had just never heard that particular term for it.

February- Not that the pb&j stain on one floor pillow and the juice stain on the other isn’t considered something akin to stretch marks and sagging boobs

March- “Ugh. I think I really do need a mind make over. Some one should come in like, with tools ‘n stuff and just have at my brain. I am thinking tiny little gay men. Not like those Umpa Lumpas though- they freak me out.

April– “I have, at this very moment, Easter eggs dyed by my MIL in my refrigerator
* I feel that I must add to this that just a few weeks later, my MIL handed my daughter a picture that she colored herself (my MIL, not my daughter) from a coloring book. Yes. She did. I wanted to exaggeratedly and sarcastically exclaim about “what a BIG girl she was!” and “you even stayed in the lines!” but I resisted.

May- I was that happy- no let’s be honest, I was giddy. To be completely honest, I think I was even having an experience. All those towels, hand towels, wash clothes, sheets, pillow cases, blankets, comforters, throws, quilts, afghans, and table clothes lined up, stacked up and grouped together was just, well, kind of a turn on.

June- …and I know that we are both thinking and feeling the same thing. This is family at its best. The sharing of these moments of intense love of your child and of each other. The fulfillment that only we can bring to each other as a family.
July- This way Harry can live with me forever and ever. That and I can stroke him gently and tell him it will be okay

August- I couldn’t decide between two- they second is actually a bit long, but gosh, I sure love my own brand of sarcasm lots! They are both from the same entry.

As much as I love the smell of fresh dog poo in the morning”

“Maybe screaming is just “your thing”.  Is that why the Best Buy guy only stayed over twice? Tell me, what attracted you to him? The way he was able to set up your new tv or whatever reason it was that he was there in the first place? Must have been a “big job” if it took him all night! I bet it was the shorts. That’s it, isn’t it?! Oh, and your son scares my daughter when he rides up to her and growls. Please tell him to stop.  And teach him words.

Shame on you, married neighbor lady next to her– I noticed the Best Buy truck over at your house just days later! Was a discount involved? Did your neighbor give you a coupon or something?”

*** I must also add here, that the neighbor lady mentioned above? The screaming one doing the Best Buy guy? Apparently she is MARRYING The Best Buy Guy! She moved out from across the street and in with him a couple months ago.

September- “I feel like a normal person now. I have always been so self conscious about my sweaty pit stains.

October- Apparently if you’re not into rhinestones and rainbow colored bias tape around neck and arm holes you are S.O.L. in the black leotard department of our town. * I did, by the way, find a better leotard for her at Academy, by the way.

November– This was a tough one. Although I only wrote a couple of times in November, there is one entry that is just chock full of odd lines, so here are my favorites, and the whole entry is here.

“baby got back AND front!”
“Rrreeeeke Boooob-e”
“Being LDS, I am contractually obligated to love all Osmonds”

December– “I woke up in the middle of the night preforming an exorcism.

1 Comment »

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  1. I am still totally on my knees in thanks to you for the September entry. Certain Dri is ALL I use now (And it is a much lovlier world!)

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