The Real Texas Mama

July 17, 2008 at 5:18 am | Posted in redneckedness, self awareness | Leave a comment

Living in a small southern town has a lot of advantages. Sure, you may wanna lock your doors at night, but your elderly neighbor notices that you haven’t been around in a few days and kindly calls your cell while you are out of state on vacation just to make sure everything is ok and to let you know he’s been keeping an eye on the place. Towns here in Texas definitely do have a certain charm to them.

Especially if you just let go of your pride and accept the fact that you are, indeed, a redneck. It is a state of being that I have long denied in myself. But I am ready to come out and say it, finally after years of denial: I AM a redneck. There. I have said it.

As the years go by, the fact that I am a redneck seems to be manifesting itself more and more. And while I would like to blame it on my husband, its not all his fault.

True, he put me in a big ol’ Super Duty Turbo F250 Lariat with a 6 inch lift on it. But it was me who actually likedit. I surprised even myself with my love of that monster of a truck. I liked the power I felt from behind the wheel of a truck I could do almost anything in.  You know, in case the need for me to go off-roading into a ditch in order to save some from the jaws of death. Or more likely, the occasional Texit (that’s a Texan Exit- meaning you just bail off of the freeway in your truck wherever you please, illegally) when my patience with traffic had reached its limit.

I enjoyed the surprised look that I got from men when I literally jumped out of my truck. I suppose a blond 25 year old mother wasn’t who they were expecting to be driving a truck like that, and I got a kick out of it. Driving that truck was an eye opening experience for me. I went from denying my redneck status to proud acceptance.  No longer am I hiding who I really am- my true self.

I now sport my big highlighted blond hair, hiked up boobs, cheap heels from Payless, and too tight jeans that create a huge muffin top with PRIDE. Texas redneck pride.  I can really let go now- no more stopping myself from using words like “ya’ll” and “fixin’ to”.  That’s what we here in Texas say when we are getting ready to do something, for all you who don’t speak Texan. Who am I kidding? Heck, I even like saying “get her doooone!”!

Yeehaw, ya’ll!

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