Introverted No Longer

September 4, 2008 at 6:07 am | Posted in self awareness | Leave a comment

I have always been quite introverted. Growing up, I wasn’t the popular girl surrounded by admirers. Then again, I was also smart enough not to be one of those admirers. I maybe had a couple of good friends, and another handful of more casual friends. Living in a very small town meant that I knew everyone at school and they all knew me. But honestly? There were more than a few years at school when I didn’t have any good friends. I would sit at lunch with someone I sort of knew and who was at least willing to tolerate me.

Putting myself out there has just never been something that I was good at. And the times that I did work up the nerve to do it? Weren’t always the best experiences. Even as an adult, I have been sincerely surprised by other adults’ behavior towards new comers.

When we recently moved back to a town that I had previously grown to love, I was excited. I had an easy time in that area making actual friends. I knew that a couple of them had left the area and that it was much changed, but I knew I would be happy with the area.

I looked at moving a town area as a chance to reinvent myself in a way. I decided that I would fight that introverted shy side of me and gather up my courage. I was going to put myself out there. Make it known that I was here. I spoke up in church. Chatted up anyone and everyone who came my way. And low and behold I had made myself some friends.

It didn’t actually kill me to call up a few women just to say hi, or even invite them over for a play date. And having adult conversation with someone not related to you? Awesome. It doesn’t hurt that Hali gets to play and socialize right there with me when I get together with other moms. In fact, it makes me feel better- I had been feeling pretty guilty about not having many friends with children her age to play with. As an only child, it’s pretty important for her to have kids to play with.

Previously, when I’d take one of those personality quizzes that you find all over the place, I would always answer that after getting together with a group of people, I feel tired. Now, I feel energized. It’s crazy. I’ve changed.

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