Ode to my Gut

October 14, 2008 at 5:57 am | Posted in self awareness | 4 Comments
Tags: , , ,

Gut. Pooch. Mama Poochie. Muffin Top. Butt in the Front. Would that anything else so sweet might go by more wonderful and splendidly sweet sounding names? You? Are my constant companion these nearly five years now.

How I love thee. Let me count the ways:

Chocolate

Cookies

Desert

Fried Chicken Sandwiches

Bread

Potatoes

Mexican Food (preferably from Racheros or Los Cucos)

Chinese Food (Double Dragon)

All eight of you love my gut so. You continue to love it, clinging to it like a kid and their security blankie. Never letting go. Always inviting more to join in and share your joy, thus expanding your reach. And reach you have. All the way past the top of my jeans.

I thought I had defeated you. Yet there you are. Determined to hang on, despite the twice weekly Body Flow classes at the local Gold’s Gym. How you must love me, despite my best efforts to be rid of you. I’ve even tried to convince myself that I loved you back and that you and I had a healthy relationship. We do not. You are becoming a major hindrance. You are in the way. Can’t you tell when you are no longer wanted? Why are you not taking the hints? Must I be more blunt? Fine.

It’s time to leave. Take some cellulite from my thighs with you in case you get lonely. Oh, and take some arm with you- they’re very friendly. They wave back at you when you wave.

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4 Comments »

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  1. Oh so funny! My Gut is the same.

  2. The only way my gut is going anywhere is if I have it surgically removed.

    I tagged your for a fun meme! You will like this one…I promise!

    http://www.youngandrelentless.com/2008/10/sixth-of-sixth.html

  3. Shakespeare couldnt have said it better!

    You should win some sort of literary award for that.

  4. Oh, how I am laughing right now, let me count the ways…

    After three children (killer bod between #2 and #3, that’s what got me #3, apparently), I have just about given up on looking 20. As long as I can avoid looking 50 before I’m 40, I’m thinkin’ I’m ahead of the game. =D

    Good luck… and good riddance to flab.


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