They Come in Batches

January 19, 2009 at 6:36 pm | Posted in complaining, family, self awareness, The Mundane | 6 Comments
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The past few weeks, it seems as if the stress is just coming in batches.

Family turmoil (not the three of us- other family) that we just can’t seem to avoid despite our wishes.

Some news from a friend that has me worried and heart broken for her. I’m a fixer and I hate it when there isn’t anything that I can do to fix a problem that someone close to me has.

Changes with Jeremy’s job.

The whole home buying process is a big deal for us as well. It’s our first home purchase and it also means we are soon going to be parting with a good chunk of our beloved cash that we have been squirreling away for months. Between a sizable down payment and closing costs, we’re feeling slightly sick to our stomachs about it.

But it does help that we are completely enamoured with our new home. Yes, the house has things here and there that bother us, but most of it is fixable for a relatively low price. So says she who is still waiting to hear back from the inspector.

My excitement over what a fabulous house we’re buying is evenly tempered with my dread. What if the financing doesn’t go through? I can’t believe the debt we’re putting ourselves in! What if something happens and we can’t afford it? So, I promise myself that I won’t get too excited until it is a done deal.

But then I go show the house off to a friend and join her in screaming at how fabulous the house is. It really is an awesome house. I don’t want to sound like a braggart ( I do so detest those people) so I won’t go into detail, but it really is something- especially for a first home.

And for over a week now I seem to be utterly incapable of not thinking about the fact that my baby will be going to school this summer. Kindergarten, folks. All day kindergarten. When I share this with anyone, they usually just raise their eyebrows and suggest that maybe it’s finally time to have another baby. That’s not it. It’s not that I won’t have a baby at home to take care of all day, it’s that Hali, my baby, isn’t going to be home all day. There is a difference. I’ve been fighting off the depression of this for days now.

All this complaining has made me thirsty. Perhaps I can find comfort in my very favorite drink, Wild Cherry Diet Pepsi? No? Oh, that’s right- I’ve quit caffeine. I know, right! Maybe the timing wasn’t the best, but I knew my soda intake was getting ridiculous, so I’ve cut back on the amount quite a bit and have quit drinking caffeinated soda all together. Or, as we here in the south call it, coke. Do I drink Coke? No, but all sodas are referred to as coke down here. Odd, right? That’s one Texas oddity that I do not participate in. I call it soda, thanks. Less confusion that way.

December Weekend

December 8, 2008 at 6:18 am | Posted in adventures with Hali, family, Holidays, The Mundane | 4 Comments
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The three of us spent the weekend house hunting and decking the halls. We looked at several houses, none of which were “the one”. But we did finish getting all the Christmas things up.

Saturday the outdoor lights went up, as well as the tree. Sunday night the Christmas music was turned on, Harry Potter was on the tv, and we put all the ornaments on our tree. Best hot chocolate I’ve ever made was consumed:

                                hot chocolate

Who knew that adding a big spoonful of homemade whipped cream to the top could make a packet of Swiss Miss taste so dang nummy?

Happy Thanksgiving 2008!

November 26, 2008 at 4:35 pm | Posted in family, Holidays, self awareness | 2 Comments
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Happy Thanksgiving everyone! In keeping with tradition, I would like to share what I am most thankful for this year.

I am most thankful for my ability to BE thankful. I am thankful for all of those times of total contentment when I find myself wanting nothing. The times when I am simply watching my daughter and my husband interact and my heart swells so much it aches. And I know that there is nothing better than being right there in that moment, soaking it all up and filing it away in my memory. A perfect moment.

My life may not be perfect, but so many hours of each day are nearly. And I am thankful that I am just fine with nearly.

                          hpim2700

Mini Vacation 2008

August 15, 2008 at 4:23 pm | Posted in adventures with Hali, family, vacation | 2 Comments
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We recently discovered the greatness of The Mini Vacation. We spent most of a weekend at the beach and had a blast. Jeremy decided to inform me that we were going just a few days before we were going to be leaving. So, I decided to roll with it and make it a Big Deal. We booked a hotel last minute, packed a bag with a couple changes of clothes, a cooler full of drinks and snacks, and loaded up all our beach gear.

I have to admit, we had the best time. A couple hours drive there. A couple hours at the beach. A swim in the beautiful hotel pool. After showers and some sprucing up we decided to walk next door to The Rainforest Cafe. We’ve never taken Hali, so it was quite an experience for us as a family. If you’ve never been to one and/or you have the opportunity to take the kids DO IT! The whole thing is just great. Excuse the bad picture- they keep the whole place pretty dark- its supposed to be like a real rainforest…

Our hotel room had a balcony with a beach and pool view:

There was mini golf. Or was it putt-putt? Either way? Fun! Hali’s first time. It got to the point where I was having such bad luck it was kind of a game to see just how many times I could miss a shot that looked as though it should have gone in. If that is a game, I am the winner, hands down.

And, on the way home, pancakes, waffles, and this:

some amateur car races at the Gulf Greyhound Racetrack. Jeremy was a happy man. Again, sorry for the bad picture quality- it’s hard to photograph racing cars while you’re still sitting in your car with a camera that needs replacing.

All in all it was a wonderful weekend. We already have plans on doing it again next year.

This was actually the view as we were leaving the mini golf course. (Darn you power lines! You have ruined too many of my photos!)

Vacation 2008

July 23, 2008 at 4:00 pm | Posted in adventures with Hali, family, Holidays | 3 Comments
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Visiting my family in Idaho was absolutely awesome. Who can say that? I just really enjoy Idaho. I just have this feeling there that I can’t describe. Even when we lived there, that feeling was around. Almost a lighter, more casual feeling. I have many good memories of that area. I just wished that Jeremy felt the same- poor guy of course got a cold while we were there and that was compounded by an ear and sinus infection. Hali got a cold as well, so no one slept as well as we wanted to.

Our flights there were a mess. The flight leaving got canceled so we were transfered over to another airline that had our seats all over the place. And they only gave us one boarding pass for the flight after, from Phoenix to Salt Lake City. So that caused us to miss that flight, which meant a two and a half hour layover. Hali was so great about everything, though. Hali’s dad? Not so much. 

Hali is now a pro at the “additional screening” which we had done for both flights there.  She holds her arms out like a pro without even being asked. Then she whips out her Webkinz and pats her down, just like she was just patted down.  You have to watch out for those four-year-olds, you know. Bombs in their shoes 50% of the time. Suprisingly, it’s almost always the left one.

Of course, I can never pass up an opportunity to tease my 25% Lebonese husband when we fly. Especially because of how often we have to do the additional screening. I have my very own redneck, LDS, Lebonese terrorist every time I fly! Yay!

Oh, and the secret thrill I get from being patted down by a woman! Whoohoo! I must say, the woman in Phoenix did a more, urm, thorough job of it than they did here in Texas. She felt up my muffin top and everything.

We saw WALL-E. Well, I took my little brother and daughter while everyone else saw a drunk super-hero. No, not that one, this one. How many super-heroes with drinking problems do we need?

We road the four wheeler up in the foothills, and saw some of the most amazing veiws.

Us girls did a little shopping, followed by a trip up to Ririe Reservoir for some boating in the new boat my parents bought (they recently sold the boat that they bought when I was 6). Here lies my favorite sunglasses.  Dad enjoyed whipping my mom and I around on the double tub a little TOO much. Ouch. I was sore for a few days after that.

                                          

It’s pretty incredible to be a boat sitting in the middle of this lake carved into the mountains (foothills?). Makes you feel tiny.

There were late nights on the back porch making s’mores and melted starbursts. Melted starbursts? Yes. That’s what I said. Try it. One of the wonderful things about living in the north versus south is that it cools down quite a bit at night there. As in “grab a hoodie” cool. And we did:

                                          

Classy, aren’t I? I thought we were adorable in our matching pink sweatshirts.

The 4th of July was absolutely amazing. People come in to Idaho Falls from all around to see the fireworks display. It is that amazing. A town with 60,000 people gains about 40,000 more every July 4th. AND it’s all timed out to music which everyone tunes their radios into the same station to hear. The show is nearly half and hour long of solid fireworks. And impressive ones at that. I’ve never seen anything like it.

                                        

It was wonderful looking around at all the family that had gathered onto my grandparents front yard for the show. Hali had several cousins to play with- some of who’s parents I used to play with every time I visited Idaho growing up and hadn’t seen for 10 years.

The Fourth of July was long and exhausting. We started by watching the parade they do every year downtown. Then hurried home to beautify ourselves for pictures. We finally did it! Professionaly done pictures of my whole family! It’s been a long time since we had any done- most definately not since I started my very own family. After the big group shot was done, Jeremy, Hali and I did some of just us as well. We have never been in- I’ve never even taken Hali in. I’m a bad mom, I know.

Then it was back to the house to change and out to lunch. Back home to pack our bags, as we would be leaving the next morning, then out to my grandparents to await nightfall and the fireworks display. We did a little walking around down by the Snake River. People park RVs and stake out spots days in advance just to ensure that they have a good spot to view the show from. I’ve never really experienced anything like it. Definately a lasting memory that Jeremy and I will always be able to look back on.

Check out my flickr pictures over there on the sidebar to see what else we did! Just click on the pictures and it will take you to flickr where you can see all of them.

I Don’t Want to NOT Be a Stay-at-home Mom

July 16, 2008 at 7:27 am | Posted in adventures with Hali, family | 2 Comments
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Helping out at the shop a few weeks ago made me realize how much I love my job and how much I don’t want to leave my days as a stay-at-home mom behind. Sure, the hours often times suck, but it’s a really good job. I just cannot stress how happy it makes me to be a stay-at-home mom. I literally spend all my time with Hali- most of the time within a few yards of her. And while this can often times become a complaint, it is a blessing.

Before we got married, Jeremy and I talked about our future often and about our plans for a family. We both agreed without any debate that I would be a stay-at-home mom when we started our family. There was never even any question about it- it was just what was going to happen.

And while it would have potentially made things easier on us financially, I have truly never worked outside the home since Hali was born.  We were so extremely poor when Hali was first born. We had just started a business and it simply wasn’t bringing in enough money (new businesses in general aren’t going to bring much in for the first year or two). But we persevered, and have been blessed for it.

Jeremy and I derive a lot of satisfaction from the fact that I am and always have been at home to take care of our girl. I know there are women who, when asked what they do, don’t really feel as pleased with themselves as they should when they answer that they are a stay-at-home mom.

I used to feel like it wasn’t enough, and would try and act as if my role in helping Jeremy with our business was a little larger than it really was. But by the time Hali was a couple of years old, I figured out that I really was proud of myself and of my husband because of the fact that I was able to be at home all the time, concentrating on raising our daughter. I really found myself in that identity of simply being what I was.  I wasn’t embarrassed to say ” I stay at home with Hali”. I didn’t feel the need to tack on other things to my job title, after all, mine was an important, all-consuming, difficult job. 

Looking at the road ahead, it is difficult for me to imagine life once Hali is in school. I feel like once she is in school I should find some way to contribute financially. Which means a job.  Starting over in the professional world after what will be over five years at home is a scary thought to me. What will I do? Who will hire me? Will I be able to find a job that enables me to be home whenever Hali is? Will it be something I truly like? Should I also go back to school? Will that help me get a better job that meets my requirements?

Just thinking about it stresses me out and makes me sad to think that I won’t be able to call myself a stay-at-home mom for much more than another year. We are constantly arriving at new stages in life- especially at this early point in our time as a family. The next one will be the upcoming year of preschooling at home. It’s the stage after that I’m worried about. It’s going to be a bg change for me, and one I am glad I have another year to get used to the idea of, because right now, I don’t even want to think about it.

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